Confessions of A Runway Model
by Boxxer-auction
Summary: Rated M for men in lingerie goodness! XD Part 1 of 4 complete! The FF VII cast go into the fashion biz and lingerie obsessions occur o.o HUMOR WARNING Please R & R


**Confessions of a Runway Model**

**Part 1:** Bad Boys

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**A/N:** Well, here it is! The first part of the series. I plan to make 4. XD It's all about the Final fantasy VII cast and their lingerie obsession (wtf!). Yeah, I'm hyper and it's 2:47 AM, what'd ya expect >w 

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"Like, Oh My Gawd! Leather is the new lace!" Loz pranced out in a tight leather Speedo. A scream was heard in the distance and another body was rolled off stage.

"Loz, that sooooo is not appropriate. For tonight's show at least!" _Wink._ Kadaj pranced around in a red lace thong and bra. Of course the bra was filled with grapefruits.

"Well, fine then. But I must say that the red doesn't compliment your skin colour as well as this tropical orange and pink rose set would. I mean you're so pale the red makes you look a bit inflamed." Loz disappeared behind the changing curtain and started to put on a fuzzy white and black slip-dress.

"What d'ya think? I personally ADORE the trim of this corset, I mean look at the detail!" Yazoo started dancing around in a black corset with red flowery trim. He then went over to Loz's changing curtain and flung it open.

Loz covered his private part and where his breasts _should've_ been. "Hey! Do you mind, I was slipping into something more comfortable." Loz glared at Yazoo, but Yazoo simply replied "Dude, you make it sound like you were about to seduce someone. I didn't know you felt that way about me Loz! I'm sorry, but I don't swing that way….with family members. Cloud on the other hand….Mmm… That is one big piece of man I want to get my hands on!" Yazoo began dreamily fantasizing when he was abruptly smacked on the head by a familiar hand.

"shut up and help me with fitting the underwear correctly. I can't get it positioned over my bottom so it looks round, not flat." Kadaj pouted.

"You have no ass, besides, your legs are too fat. Kadaj, have you been going into the fridge for late-night snacks lately? You know what they say!" Loz looked at him and pointed at him.

"That explains a lot though…." Yazoo pondered. "Hey, Wait a minute! That means you ate my precious burrito! No! I saved all those calories over the past few weeks and you ate it! I hate you." Yazoo crossed his arms over his chest and a single tear streamed down his face. It glistened and hit the floor with a soft, almost inaudible thud.

"Pssht! You wish, that was Loz, I mean look at him, doesn't he seem a bit heftier than last time? Loz, I think you gained a ¼ inch." Kadaj looked at him scornfully and 'tsked' at him.

"Ugh! You are just trying to cover up your mess!" Loz then appeared from the changing station in some women's boxers and a festive black, strapless bra. "I'm going for the 'relaxed, but hot, tomboy' look. Genius, ne?" Loz did a twirl and shook his butt slightly.

"Well, it will do. I would ask Kaa-san what she thinks, but she's getting ready for her and Sephiroth's debut. I'm am like so excited. She is gorgeous, but she'll be able to show off all her really hot scars and wires and such off!"

"Kadaj, you just called Mom hot. That's awkward. Never again." Yazoo and Loz just stared at him with tiny saucer eyes.

"…." Kadaj looked away and blushed. "I love Kaa-san, 'nuff said. Let's get going 'cause we'll be late for the show!" Kadaj put on a pair of stilettos and ran off to the catwalk. Loz followed with a pair of PVC (think shiny plastic) pumps and Yazoo picked a simple pair of 5" inch heel boots.

On the Catwalk 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the first part of the fashion show tonight includes two beautiful women and a very gender-confused male." The announcer's voice boomed over the speakers.

"It's 3 gender confused men you idiot!" the 3 of them yelled in unison to the host.

"Whatever, they say 3, but I still stick to my original statement" He said into the mic.

Kadaj, naturally, was first to go. DARE by Gorillaz accompanied him. He walked down did a twirl and 'The Look' and returned to walk back. Next came Yazoo and he had 'My Humps' By the Black Eyed Peas playing. As soon as he got to the front of the line, he bent down and moved his 'hump' around. He then slid up and threw his hair back. After some more hair flips he did 'The Stripper Walk' (One foot dragging in front of the other while walking) back, slowly swinging his 'trunk'. Lastly was Loz. He chose to have 'Luxurious' By Gwen Stefani and when it started, boy did Loz ever start. He slid across the ground and a rain of glitter descended upon him, He flipped onto his back and rolled in the glitter. Then he got up and made a 'Y' shape with his arms and threw his head back. He then rushed off stage and that was the end of Act 1.

"Well, thank you for coming, we will have a short intermission while the other performers put on the final touches and you can grab a drink or something at the snack bar located near the washrooms. Again, Thank you and this concludes Part 1."

Or so they thought….

Loz rushed back on stage with nothing but a pair of tight leather pants on. And I mean tight. "I'm too Sexy' By Right Said Fred. "That's right! I AM too sexy!" Loz danced some more before being tackled by Zack (Security).

"Loz, we don't want to see you in tight pants. Or lingerie for that matter. Go home you gender-confused villain." Zack whacked him with his buster sword for good measure and walked off.

"That's mean! Kaa-san! Zack was being mean to me!" Loz started to whimper and he just sat on the floor sulking.

"Aw, c'mon Loz. It'll all be ok. Kadaj and I here have some ice cream. Why don't we got backstage and finish off the tub. Would that make you feel better?" Yazoo knelt down and patted him on the back.

"Is it low-fat ice cream?" Loz looked at him with teary eyes.

"why not." Yazoo helped him up and they all walked off into the man-made sunset generated by 200-watt bulbs (supplied by Home Depot).

And they lived happily ever after.

**Fin**

**(Of part 1)

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**A/N: **Yes…Tonight is a night for fanfics it seems w Annie is my inspiration though, she's so cool XD You should all be excited for the next 3 parts though. They will include the Turks, Cloud, Barret, Vincent, Jenova, Sephiroth and Cid. It will be good….Ehehe….. I need to really get a life lol.

**Xoxo**

Hellsingz-own-psychotic


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